How God's Glorious & Saving Grace Changed My Life! - Millie McFarland
“For the joy of the Lord is your Strength”
Submitted by: Millie McFarland
I grew up in church and was raised to know who God is, but as most rebellious teenagers I wanted to see what was out there. I spent a few years doing all kind of wild things and experimenting things I knew I had no business dabbling in, but it seemed fun at the time. But if I'm truly honest, deep down I was never satisfied and the fun never lasted.
Then at the age of 24 I reconciled with the Lord and my life started to take a different direction. It truly seemed to be on track. During that time I got married because I was living with him out of wedlock and I had gotten saved and I wanted to be fully right with the Lord. I suddenly had an instant family as I know was married, and now had the responsibility of raising my cousin's girls; as she had gone to be with the Lord.
In the appearance we all looked happy, but as the years went by things got harder and harder because my husband had another life I didn't know about. I was working 2 jobs to help maintain our family and in the midst of this we all lost sight of God. My husband and I got divorced; the girls went their own way, and I felt completely alone and instead of clinging to God, I went the other way. Again, I found myself back in the cold, dark world that I so desperately wanted to avoid.
While out in my sin, my heart still longed to be in God's house. So, I would party all weekend and come to church on Sunday. I would go religiously, because that was a seed planted in me since I was a young child. I would go, feel conviction, but I was so entangled that I would not yield to God's call.
This went on for about 4 1/2 years, until a certain woman came up to me at church and said, "God impressed me to pay for you to go to the Women's Retreat, will you go?" To be honest I didn't want to go because in my mind I was like how am I going to be able to be away for 3 days, and not be able to smoke my cigarettes. That surly was a trick of the enemy, but I reluctantly said yes. God's plan is always greater than what the enemy tries to stop.
The time came and I went to the retreat and it was there that God got a hold of me. He used someone I didn't know, Evangelist Joycelyn Barnett, to tell me everything that was going on in my life and everything I was doing. She told me that if I didn't let go of the toxic relationship I was in, I was going to die; I knew she was telling me the truth because he almost killed me 2 months prior to this retreat, but I never told anyone.
Needless to say, I got saved that night and when I returned home I broke up with him and had to get a restraining order because he threatened me. But God kept me safe and I began to rebuild my life and my relationship with God.
Little by little God transformed my life. I just had one thing that I felt was keeping me from fully getting close to God and that was my addiction to cigarettes. I felt so guilty and I tried to quit. I remember asking God to take this addiction away on my way to church one Sunday. That particular Sunday Evangelist John Richardson was preaching and he gave his testimony of how God delivered him of addictions and when he made the altar call and I went up and I told God take all desire of wanting to smoke, away. God did just that, He delivered me from that addiction and from that day forward I have not had the desire to smoke. Praise God!! That was definitely a turning point and a learning experience to trust and depend on God.
I began my journey in my new life in Christ. Through many trials and storms He has kept me. I have literally face death, but God has been by my side. He has healed me, restored me and has given me newness of life; it has been 12 years since my new birth date and I am eternally grateful for his keeping power. I will say everything I have gone through has been a process to get me where I am today. So, if you are going through some things keep in mind that the process doesn't feel good, but it will refine you. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5 NKJV) I have learned in my journey that the Joy God gives is my strength, so look forward to that Joy, because there is nothing like it.